3 + 1 = four orrs

Our journey from a family of three to a family of four through the miracle of adoption.

Four Orr’s…..or how about FIVE?!

on May 18, 2014

Wow, what an adventure this has been! If you had asked us in October of 2011 when we took our first steps towards adding to our family (through adoption) what we thought the next few years would be like we would have NEVER guessed the journey we would have! God had planted in our hearts the “seed” of adoption in the years prior and we thought at that point that the seed was to grow along with our family, by adding to our family through adoption. Our drive to adopt was not fueled by difficulty conceiving a child, or health problems as a result of growing a child in my body or anything like that (though me and pregnancy aren’t actually very “good” friends, my body does pregnancy well…minus the puking, but it grows a strong healthy kid and births a strong, healthy kid….or at least has one). Our drive to adopt, was God inspired and we felt strongly that he was leading us to grow our family through adoption and that included preventing biological children of our own for the time (well, we thought forever…). I was asked fairly early on by a friend or two (and again during some really tough times) at what point we might consider attempting to have another biological child and every time I answered with confidence that I didn’t know, but knew that if that is what we were supposed to do Kyle and I would know and know clearly and cross that bridge when we got there.

In time, that time did come, though not at all how we would have expected (are you seeing a trend here, or is that just me?). It came through heartbreak and tears for children we thought were to be ours, it came with the opportunities to pray for numerous children, first families, social workers, attorneys and adoptive families. It came with stretching of ourselves and our boundaries of what we thought we could handle and thought our family would look like (at one point last year we were the non-family option for a sibling group of 3 who were 4 and under….despite that we were not yet working with foster care, that would have meant we went from one five year old to four children five and under over night-hello!). It came with continuing to walk forward and trust God and know HE was in control (I can say that easily, but oh it was not easy, Kyle and I like control….or at least to pretend we have control…especially of things like children joining our family!) and that HE has a perfect plan for our family. Knowing we were to try to have a biological child of our own started slowly (of course), through a few different situations (and disappointments) and truly we came to a point where we just knew that we were no longer supposed to be actively preventing pregnancy and that with biological children we were also just supposed to let go and let God show us His plan (don’t worry, we aren’t the next mega-family, that was an “at this time” sort of thing, not a going forward forever sort of thing :)).

I have had a mirena IUD, and we were approaching the time when I needed to have it replaced or taken out, so removing it was the obvious next step. Here’s where things get a little nutty (again) and we walked forward knowing that God was in control and that this was bigger than us and our shortsightedness. The day I went to have it removed there were two different babies on our radar as “maybe’s,”  yes, TWO. One of which was much more realistic than the other, but both that we were THE choice for if the parent decided to follow the advise she was being given by wise and trusted people in her life (who we were in touch with). Of course my midwife offered other forms of birth control that were more easily reversible if we wanted to continue actively preventing pregnancy; however, that’s not what were supposed to do. We were supposed to not prevent and move forward knowing God is in control even if that meant we wound up with two babies less than a year apart (one through adoption, one through biology). So we continued to walk forward in faith and in time both of those possible adoption situations came to conclusions that didn’t involve us, but we had the opportunity to pray for everyone involved, and shed our share of tears, but still knew God’s plan for our family was bigger than we could imagine and that His plan for us is GOOD even if it was hard.

We ultimately decided to move forward with pursuing foster care/foster-adopt and in January spent two weekends at the DSHS office with some friends who have had their own adventure in adopting (and are now pursing foster/foster-adopt) and a couple great and knowledgeable women who taught us the basics of foster care/foster adopt and what would be expected of us as a foster family. This was not at all where we expected to find ourselves, but it was where we were supposed to be (yes, at the beginning of our journey we had ruled out foster care….and yet God grew it in our hearts anyway). The next step was another mountain of paperwork in order to complete our foster care home study, so we started it….at least a little bit and then in early February found out that I was pregnant!

Then started the part where I felt terrible, barely being able to eat, lots of “all day” sickness, constant nausea and plenty of vomiting. I was so sick at one point that I had to go to the hospital for fluids despite taking multiple anti-nausea and anti-emetic medications around the clock (hello hyperemesis gravidarum). Needless to say, the paperwork got set aside (but it was still our intent to do it during my pregnancy), I could barely take care of myself, much less my family. Thank GOD for an amazing husband who took over virtually all the responsibilities that we usually share and those that I normally do in our house! I eventually got to a point where I was (finally) almost functioning normally and could consider who I wanted to see for maternity care this time, we wanted to pursue a home birth, so I needed to do my research and finally at 14 weeks pregnant (and still feeling sick much too often) we had our first prenatal appointment. Everything was normal, we heard the baby (though we’d been hearing baby at home using a doppler), I measured normally in terms of growth, I was still under the weight I started at, thanks to all the puking, but my weight had at least stabilized. We scheduled our next prenatal appointment and our “big” mid-pregnancy ultrasound for 4 weeks later and all was well (other than still battling intense nausea and some vomiting). I’m a “crunchy” momma, I truly believe women’s bodies are meant to handle pregnancy and childbirth and that while there are certainly times that things happen and we need help/interventions from the medical community (eh-hem, my anti-nausea/vomiting meds and IV fluids were definitely a needed intervention), generally speaking our bodies can and will do this and monitoring for complications is good, but that there can be too much testing/monitoring for my “style”. I prefer my healthcare provider to be a little more hands off and let me and my body (and my baby) do our thing, for us this includes not having multiple ultrasounds unless there is a clinical reason. With Aviya I had two, the mid-pregnancy one, which showed placenta previa and thus warranted follow up to be sure that corrected itself and that the birth we were striving for could be safely done. I fully expected something a long the same lines this time, my blood work came back normal, we were discussing the extra testing for genetic abnormalities and trying to decide if we wanted to do that (I am an older mom now, I passed the magic “35”) and expecting the most exciting part of our mid-pregnancy ultrasound to be what the gender of our baby was!

Aviya’s been saying the whole time that she wanted/thought it was twins and we’ve been telling her the whole time “nah, we’d know if it was twins…twins are rather rare…” Imagine our surprise (and her elation until they identified them both as boys) when at our ultrasound at 18 weeks pregnant we indeed found out that we are having TWINS! Two healthy, growing, thriving baby boys! They are identical (we know because they share a placenta and the main amniotic sac, but have separate smaller sacs of their own), for more info about identical twins, ours are monochorionic-diamniotic check out this link. We are absolutely thrilled! A little overwhelmed and still surprised, but more than anything excited.

Therefore, our foster care home study paperwork gets tucked away, perhaps for some other time….we will see in a few years where we are at and where God is leading our family and (at least) for now we close the growing our family through adoption chapter. I’m not quite sure why we needed to spend three-ish years trying to adopt, to give birth to twins, but I know that we’ve learned A LOT along the way and grown in ways that only this journey could have grown us and we know that God’s plan is bigger than we  could imagine and we are excited to see what that looks like with one beautiful little girl, and two handsome identical boys!


4 responses to “Four Orr’s…..or how about FIVE?!

  1. Karen Cowart says:

    Personally, I think identical twin boys are the biggest blessing this side of heaven. They are like God blowing you double kisses from heaven. Where one baby is precious, two are miraculous and doubly adorable. I am so happy for you and Kyle!! Enjoy. 🙂

    • Lisa says:

      Oh Karen, I can hardly wait! I’ve thought so many tines in the last two weeks of the conversations we’ve had when you have said you recommend twins to everyone. It is still rather surreal that we get to experience this special double blessing!

  2. Jennifer C. says:

    Again, I am so thrilled for your family! There is something so special feeling about having twins. Like God is trusting you with 2 at a time! I’m sure there is a purpose (and I know you know there is too) for walking the 3 year path through adopt/foster and I wonder and pray what it might be with you. I thought I was having 2 boys 13 years ago even with all those ultrasounds until 8 months along and we saw that baby A was a girl! I just love the connection they have anyway. Thanks for sharing your journey with us! Praying for you all!!

    • Lisa says:

      Jen, I didn’t know you didn’t know your beautiful girl was a girl until so late in pregnancy! What a sweet surprise. I must admit the real life “biology” and genetics lesson we get to live with twins has the geekiness in both of us rather excited. To see their special connection and see ourselves in them, and that though they are identical to identify what also makes them unique from each other. Just feeling them both in my tummy is thrilling! I look forward to hearing more from both you and Karen and your tips and ideas too!

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