3 + 1 = four orrs

Our journey from a family of three to a family of four through the miracle of adoption.

Waiting, waiting, waiting

on March 19, 2012

We were warned by many in the adoption community and had read that often (okay almost always in some way) adoption is one of those adventures that is filled with “hurry up and wait”. That is no joke!

I feel like our call about the mom in Ohio was forever ago, like we’ve been waiting to hear her decision forever, yet on the other hand it feels so recent (it’s been two weeks). If it feels like that to me, I can only imagine what she is experiencing. I can’t begin to fathom what she is experiencing and to make such a tremendously huge decision. Yes, we know we are/will be an awesome family to whoever the little one God has to join our family, but she has no concrete way of knowing that. She’s trying to get a glimpse of who we are from a dozen pages of pictures and some carefully written words. She’s trusting the agency she’s working with, who is trusting our agency to have thoroughly checked us out and verified in any and every possible way that we are loving, stable, caring and “good” people. There is a lot of faith involved on her part, that everyone is being honest, genuine and that everyone ultimately has this little one’s life in their best interests. Wow, and we thought we were moving forward on faith! The more I think about it and the further we get into this process the more I realize how small we are in this adventure; this is so much bigger than us or even than the child God has for us (it’s comforting to know that He already knows who that little one is, what his/her story is and how we’ll be connected).

I talked to our case worker today (yes, I about had a heart attack when I saw her name on my caller ID), she didn’t have much to share, but she had received an update email from the other agency with a little more info and just keeping in touch (that’s good!):

Mom had her first prenatal appointment, they confirmed that her due date is Mid-July (based on dates), they are working on scheduling her ultrasound for soon and provided baby cooperates she will find out the baby’s gender at the ultrasound. The birth father now supports the adoption plan (woohooo!). She is still considering which adoptive family is right for her little one.

It’s not much, but contact and reaffirmation of several things is good! The more interactions the agency has with a parent the better. It means they are building a relationship with her and are able to offer her as much support as she needs. As tough as it is to wait, I’m glad she is taking all the time she needs to make this decision and feel confident about it. I’m VERY glad to hear that birth father is now supportive of the plan to adopt, not because legally it matters (at least not in their state), but because it means she has his support, or at least agreement and that she doesn’t have to worry about whether he’s going to try to encourage her to make a different choice. I’m also glad she had her first prenatal appointment and has started getting medical care that can identify any problems and offer her the medical support she needs.  I want her to feel cared for and loved throughout this process, I want her to be respected for the brave and selfless choice she is making and I trust, pray and hope that she is getting that from the agency and healthcare providers she is working with.

Regardless of whether this is our baby or not, I hope this mom can sense how many prayers and positive thoughts are happening on her behalf and for her little one. Please keep thinking of and praying for her and this baby, their health, that they are being treated well, for wisdom and confidence in this decision of the right family for her baby, and for patience and wisdom for us.

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One response to “Waiting, waiting, waiting

  1. Mom says:

    I pray everyday for the baby in Ohio and the mom. If this is not the baby for your family, that God will give you patience in waiting!

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